I design stuff.

(although I wouldn't exactly call this a "portfolio".)

I unleashed full vaporwave on Laracon 2019.

Dang this was so much fun. Usually I just do websites but this included swag, lanyards, motion graphics for the massive venue screens, a bobblehead, and one Times Square billboard.

Laracon VII Website and Taylor Otwell Bobblehead
Justin Jackson's Website

I cranked out MAX BRUTALITY for Justin Jackson.

Justin wanted his personal site to look like photocopied zine and therefore it does. It’s one of my favoritest things I’ve ever designed and I wish I kept it all for myself forever and ever amen.

I teach people how to design gooder.

Radical Design is my course that will upgrade your design skills from bland to grand. Bleak to chic. Boring to really quite very remarkably good. It's not out yet though. Soon. Real soon.

Radical Design Course Website
Dungeon Master Academy Website

I love D&D so I built a site for Dungeon Masters.

It’s just a hobby site that earns 160 nickles a month in affiliate advertising but looks hella rad and has some really good content in there.

I did this one for an awesome driving school in Vegas.

I worked on this one back in 2012 and it still looks awesome. Pro Indy race car drivers pulling e-brakes on teens in BMWs to teach them how to control spin outs? Sign me up.

Driver's Edge
Just a man walking around or whatever

Slow down okay?

You've already burned through like a year of my life's work in a mere few seconds of scrolling. Relax and soak it in like a hot epsom salt bath. It'll do you good.

In fact...

Go back up and look at those ones again. They're really good. Most of my time is spent working on Statamic so my portfolio is a bit smaller than it used to be.

Seriously, take another lap around the block.

I know it's easy to just zooooooom through a website by scrolling quickly and pouring pixels directly into your retinas at Mach 3, but come on. Savor it! For me.

Whatever, keep scrolling.

I can't make you do anything, why fight it? I'll just take care of this myself.

Wow! Look at these awesome sites!

I unleashed full vaporwave on Laracon 2019.

Dang this was so much fun. Usually I just do websites but this included swag, lanyards, motion graphics for the massive venue screens, a bobblehead, and one Times Square billboard.

Laracon VII Website and Taylor Otwell Bobblehead
Justin Jackson's Website

I cranked out MAX BRUTALITY for Justin Jackson.

Justin wanted his personal site to look like photocopied zine and therefore it does. It’s one of my favoritest things I’ve ever designed and I wish I kept it all for myself forever and ever amen.

I teach people how to design gooder.

Radical Design is my course that will upgrade your design skills from bland to grand. Bleak to chic. Boring to really quite very remarkably good. It's not out yet though. Soon. Real soon.

Radical Design Course Website
Dungeon Master Academy Website

I love D&D so I built a site for Dungeon Masters.

It’s just a hobby site that earns 160 nickles a month in affiliate advertising but looks hella rad and has some really good content in there.

I did this one for an awesome driving school in Vegas.

I worked on this one back in 2012 and it still looks awesome. Pro Indy race car drivers pulling e-brakes on teens in BMWs to teach them how to control spin outs? Sign me up.

Driver's Edge

What is this, the end of an Avengers movie?

You kept scrolling and were continuously rewarded with more content. You expect to be further rewarded by continuing, don't you? Thought so.

So, how've you been?

I'm doing pretty well, thanks for asking. I just moved to Florida. It's much warmer than New York. I have a pool and some palm trees now. It's nice.

Just a heads up...

It's gonna all be lame jokes from here out.

I don't always tell dad jokes...

But when I do, he laughs.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Why did the old lady fall in the well?

Because she didn't see that well.

Okay, those are my only good lame jokes.

I have standards you know.

Hey did you know I design stuff?

Well, I do! Want to see some of my designs? Of course you do!

Oh my gosh look at these sites!

I unleashed full vaporwave on Laracon 2019.

Dang this was so much fun. Usually I just do websites but this included swag, lanyards, motion graphics for the massive venue screens, a bobblehead, and one Times Square billboard.

Laracon VII Website and Taylor Otwell Bobblehead
Justin Jackson's Website

I cranked out MAX BRUTALITY for Justin Jackson.

Justin wanted his personal site to look like photocopied zine and therefore it does. It’s one of my favoritest things I’ve ever designed and I wish I kept it all for myself forever and ever amen.

I teach people how to design gooder.

Radical Design is my course that will upgrade your design skills from bland to grand. Bleak to chic. Boring to really quite very remarkably good. It's not out yet though. Soon. Real soon.

Radical Design Course Website
Dungeon Master Academy Website

I love D&D so I built a site for Dungeon Masters.

It’s just a hobby site that earns 160 nickles a month in affiliate advertising but looks hella rad and has some really good content in there.

I did this one for an awesome driving school in Vegas.

I worked on this one back in 2012 and it still looks awesome. Pro Indy race car drivers pulling e-brakes on teens in BMWs to teach them how to control spin outs? Sign me up.

Driver's Edge

I could do this all day.

Or at least if I coded an endless loop I could. I didn't feel like it though. Feeling too lazy today.

You're still here, huh?

This is starting to remind me of that old classic children's book, The Monster At the End of This Book with Grover from Sesame Street.

I'm gonna just start listing words that are fun to say.

Snorkle.

Piffle.

Hallucinogenic.

Falernum.

Did you know I love making cocktails?

Yeah, it's a hobby of mine.

Teetotaler.

Albuquerque.

Billingsgate.

Dipthong.

(That's not a dirty word, by the way. Also, the typo is on purpose. I like spelling it this way. The extra "h" makes it less funny.)

Hey, wanna see something cool?

Check this out! 👇👇👇

Tada! Stuff I designed!!

I unleashed full vaporwave on Laracon 2019.

Dang this was so much fun. Usually I just do websites but this included swag, lanyards, motion graphics for the massive venue screens, a bobblehead, and one Times Square billboard.

Laracon VII Website and Taylor Otwell Bobblehead
Justin Jackson's Website

I cranked out MAX BRUTALITY for Justin Jackson.

Justin wanted his personal site to look like photocopied zine and therefore it does. It’s one of my favoritest things I’ve ever designed and I wish I kept it all for myself forever and ever amen.

I teach people how to design gooder.

Radical Design is my course that will upgrade your design skills from bland to grand. Bleak to chic. Boring to really quite very remarkably good. It's not out yet though. Soon. Real soon.

Radical Design Course Website
Dungeon Master Academy Website

I love D&D so I built a site for Dungeon Masters.

It’s just a hobby site that earns 160 nickles a month in affiliate advertising but looks hella rad and has some really good content in there.

I did this one for an awesome driving school in Vegas.

I worked on this one back in 2012 and it still looks awesome. Pro Indy race car drivers pulling e-brakes on teens in BMWs to teach them how to control spin outs? Sign me up.

Driver's Edge

fin.

😏